Most of us place such store on looking good, that we forget the power of showing our humanity.

This struck me when I read the transcript of a talk given by Niki Vincent, CEO of the Leaders Institute of SA at a TED talk in Adelaide recently and discussed in an article in the Advertiser on Australia Day. (http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/business/sa-business-journal/leaders-institute-of-south-australia-ceo-niki-vincent-a-resilient-battler-and-leader/story-e6fredel-1226561907272).

I’ve known Niki for six years and always marveled at her immaculate professional demeanor which is matched only by her outstanding skills as a leader of leaders. So when I read her very personal account of her background, including sexual assault at 12, enduring the court case that followed, being kicked out of home, anorexia, marriage at 18, mother of four by 25, divorce, losing her home in a fire, seriously ill children and somehow gaining a degree in Psychology, a University Medal, and several important career roles, my eyes filled with tears and my heart nearly burst. Suddenly Niki became not only a respected colleague but a much loved and truly admired whole human being. I immediately invited her to lunch, something I’ve not done before and probably would never have done, had I not suddenly recognized another less-than perfect person who admitted to a flaw or two. Nothing bonds people faster than the intimacy of recognition.

It takes enormous courage to show the world who we truly are but the benefits are so worth the risk. It allows others to be real with us, to drop their facades and defenses and show us their humanity. Only then, can we communicate in meaningful rather than superficial ways which is fundamental to relating to and connecting with others. Only then can the rich collaboration occur that stems from mutual trust.

It also allows us to accept our imperfections and embrace our flaws. I see so many people struggling to be perfect. I love the lyrics of Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem, especially these lines:

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

I learned a valuable lesson some years ago from a friend, Marcelle, with whom I was attempting a very exacting role I had never done before. With little time to prepare, I confessed to having no idea of what I was doing. Debriefing later, Marcelle said “I’ve never seen you as free and alive as you were when you had no idea what you were doing. You could try having no idea more often”.

Now there’s a confronting piece of advice for a perfectionist! But I’ve never forgotten it and I’ve allowed myself ever since to let go, little by little, the notion that I have to be perfect at everything I do. What a relief.

It’s always easier to see other people’s flaws and insecurities than our own. That’s why having a mentor or coach is a gift; someone you can trust to shine a light on your blind-spots (we all have those too!) and support you to identify, accept and, ultimately to express your own humanity. The rewards are the very stuff of great leadership – the ability to trust, respect and really connect with others.

Don't wait to see what the new year holds for you. Take charge and create
the year you would love to have!

You can plan your year in the same way you can plan for business outcomes
or holidays - and have fun at the same time. While you're in holiday mode,
give your thinking brain a rest and crank up your creative juices.
We've all got them, but we don't always use or value them much.

Here are few ideas to get you started:

1. PLASTICINE MODELLING.  Yes, plasticine is that coloured stuff you played with as a kid. Buy the big blocks in at least 6 colours from your newsagent (not the little skinny sticks). You may want to also invest in some plastic place mats to protect your table. We have friends over at the beginning of every new year for plasticine fun. We start by making a picture that represents the last year. This is not an art competition. It doesn't matter what your plasticine masterpiece looks like, as long as it means something to you. When everyone is finished, take turns to describe how last year was for you, based on your model. Then put all the plasticine back in the centre (I encourage people to keep their colours separate but we always end up with a hybrid ball too). Now start a new creation to represent how you would like the new year to be. Try not to over-think it. Let your hands decide and just see what happens. You may well be amazed at what shows up.  Share your new year with your friends. We take photos as reminders of what we each 'planned' for the year and invariably we are amazed at how we shaped our own experiences.

2. CREATE YOUR OWN 'HOROSCOPE'. I used to wait for my favourite astrologer to announce what was to happen in my life for the coming year. Then, one year, she stopped doing twelve- month forecasts. Disappointed at first, I decided to create my own. Did I learn astrology? No, I simply made up the year I wanted to have, as if I was an astrologer. I separated my life into categories such as work, family, relationship, social, health, money and community, just as astrologers do. I chose a different colour for each and I wrote a paragraph about what I would like to achieve in each category for that year. I had so much fun doing it and it felt very empowering, as if I really did have a say in how my life turned out. Spookily, many of the things I 'predicted' actually happened just as I said they would.

3. MAKE A COLLAGE: Cutting and pasting pictures from magazines may seem like child's play and it is. So go on, have some fun being a child again. Like the plasticine exercise, it's not about your artistic prowess. Making a collage or picture map is simply using a different medium to plan and express your wishes and ideas. Buy some large sheets of coloured card (from the newsagent) and a glue stick. Then just browse through some old magazines and tear or cut our any pictures or words that take your eye. Again, don't over-think what you're doing. Let your eyes and hands take over and trust them. This is accessing a different part of your brain and you may be surprised at what comes out in your collage.

I'd recommend doing one for last year first and then creating your new year the way you would like it to be. (Being a camera addict, I’ve also used my own photographs, printed on copying paper, to make a collage of the last year). Sit with both collages for a while before you jump to any conclusions about what they 'say'. I've found reflecting on the pictures I’ve chosen, their size and placement on the poster, brings forth some deep insights I'd never have otherwise had.

4. DRAWING, KNITTING, PAINTING, YARN-BOMBING, WOOD CARVING, SEWING, WRITING …. use whichever tools and materials are the most fun for you, to make up a picture of how you would like to live your next 12 months. Colour is great for getting the creative juices flowing, as is music. Include everything that's important to you and be careful what you ask for...it may come true.

It’s always a good idea to end the old year well, before you start creating the new. Looking back, is there anything left undone or un-said from last year? Make a list of anything that needs to be addressed to let last year go and a timeline for getting these things completed.

Then choose your medium and get creative. Take charge. And most importantly, have fun!